If I focus

really hard

if I tilt my head just right

and narrow my eyes just so

I can almost make the world disappear.

If I don't blink for a very long time

I can only see rough outlines-

no noise

-and I like that.

If I focus

really hard

if I close myself off

And turn my pride down just so

I can almost make the world disappear.

If I don't breathe for a very long time

I can only see white darkness-

no pressure from others

-and I like that.

If I focus

really hard

I can almost make myself die.