"life is a gamble at terrible odds
if it was a bet, you wouldn't take it"
it seems like i already have;
on the inside, i spin coins against myself.
life's odds are not as bad without love
but love has odds stacked high against me;
especially in moments like this
when i marvel over how beautiful he looks
against the city lights at 2am -
moments like this one end up being
moments in which he leans over to my friend
and tells her she is the prettiest he's ever seen.
(she, later on, will tell me she thinks he's not too bad
i will, to myself, scoff at her understatement
but tell her to go for him, "he's cute"
and spend that night crying on my own)
if love was a bet, you wouldn't take it
but i already have.
against the city lights at 2am,
he calls me a taxi and that's the last i'll see of him.


cs