Paying it forward
A story poem
By
Jude Kyrie

*The iron gates to the graveyard
creaked liked bones.
It was my kryptonite death and darkness
I know you live here now.
Your mother told me a few hours ago.
I search for your grave in the moonlight.
I see a candle burning on a headstone.
I know it is you
your mother visited this afternoon.
I sit down on the mowed lawn of the cematary.
Fear has left now i have found you.
I throw on a playlist from the long ago past.
And settle down for one of our chats.
I know it will be me doing all the talking
Buts that ok it was always like that .
Do you remember when we were kids?
I was sat on the dock by the lake
The sky was blue
The lake was blue
Your eyes were blue
And I was black and blue
Stepfathers are not always kind.
You slipped next to  me
Placing your arm over my
beaten young shoulders.
Your hair smelt like sunlight.
Just the small touch of kindness
Made my eyes tear up.
I wanted to shout my love for you.
Across the water of the big lake.
But only silence would come out.
The one who stole my  childhood
With his cruelty and anger.
Had beaten my inner
confidence away as well.
Do you know I wrote love poems
for you
but i never sent them.
But they were beautiful
Just like you were.
When you moved away I was desolate.
I tried to find you years later
To say I am cured I am me again.
My pain is healed
I love you.
But you were married.
I heard you have a daughter.
She is with your mother
Who cannot keep her
As she is very sick herself.
Since you and your husband
Had the car accident
I just want you to know
I will look after your daughter
Like you took care of me.
And she will be safe
And provided for.
I wish you could let me know
You understand.
That you wanted this.
Just then as if by magic
A cloud passed the moon
And its light lit up the headstone.
As if in answer to me
A beautiful monarch butterfly
Landed on my hand
Staying motionless for a full minute.
I knew she was there.
I touched the cold granite stone
And said  l always loved you honey.
And I always will.
I walked to the light of the street.
And felt it was far enough away.
So she could not hear me.
Sitting on a park bench.
I put my head in my hands
And I wept like a child.

18 months later

Belinda just turned thirteen
She is a beautiful child.
Looking just like her mother.
we never had children
At first we were afraid.
But after a week or two
We were in love with her
My wife and Belinda
Are like sisters and confidents.
They shop have lunch
And chat like best friends.
I do everything I can for her
She is the light of my life.
The adoption papers
were signed a month ago.
She makes me full of joy
and tears with a single action.
When the papers were signed
She threw her arms around my neck
and hugged me
Then she brought tears
to my eyes.
When she said
I love you dad.