i scream so
loud
it kills all the birds in the sky
but you still wonder why they don't sing for you

it's cold outside
and the rose garden is frozen over
and it seems like the luster in your eyes is gone
for good

they've known for ages
that your dying
and that winter is coming
but they never once thought to
prepare
or save those roses your grandpa planted
for little blonde
curlycue
you.

the rose petals
fell
and
they let you go
too quickly


makes you think if
you ever really mattered at all?

the trees don't sparkle with gold anymore
and the butterflies don't sing on the wind

your forest for hair
has now become something you've gotten yourself lost in
and the intricate ringlets
once placed
atop your head
have now become
knotted
lose curls.

you are not what you use too be.

seventeen
and
already dying of things you don't understand.

what a ******* shame.

you can hear your bones creak
and you jam your words out
of your mouth threw the spaces in your
teeth


the birds are singing
but you've lost your voice
and  
your grandpa isn't here to teach you bird songs
or whistle the blues
while you sweep the driveway
clear of pine needles

no one can save you
except yourself
and
you don't know what you're ******* doing
and probably never did

life is lacking
in these eyes
and i can't live without it

i want the birds
back in the sky
and curls back in my hair
and the wrinkles
erased
from my skin

take me back to a time when i was happy.

take me back to a time
when i actually cared about things.



i need an adventure
or
maybe
     a

vacation

something to keep me
from being numb

again
.

something to keep me breathing


*just a little longer.
just a little longer.