when our children
are lost in their dreams
You asleep lay safe
in the night hours of silence.
I slip quietly downstairs
and sit by the window.
Pour a glass of scotch
and pour its fire
onto my throat.

She dances back in my mind
the only woman I need and want.
Breathing fire hotter
than the whiskey on my throat.

She relights fire in my *****
where it was burning
all that time ago.
Still lay there as hot coals.
A Fire that has burned in me
before in many other lifetimes.

In my head old music plays
once shared with her.
Music of sadness
that is still sugar sweet.

Drowning in the waters
of her darkness
Caught in the memory
of her kisses.

Living inside me
the need of her, the desire.
Wound tighter than
a clockwork spring.


The need that the love
of the wife asleep upstairs.
relieves but cannot unwind.
The one that brings me here
in my shame.

I know one day
she will return for me.
To reclaim her birthright.
red lips and soft cleavage
that my demons want.

She has the key
the power to take me
as she pleases.
She is my fate
my destiny
my drug of choice.

And though I kneel
before you each day
as husband and
father to our children.

You do not know
the truth of me..
When you reach to me
for my comfort.
And I take you in our bed.
It is the flecks of grey
in her blue eyes I see.

I am no more than
an imposter in your bed.
And I know in time
there will be the devil to pay.