i feel that i'm doing something wrong, i'm not being a good survivor. i won't call my ****** out by name, i'm too scared to speak up about it. i feel like i'm a bad feminist, i see the other girls falling for the man who ***** me and i feel like it's my duty to warn them but i don't know how. he goes through girls and drugs and every time i see a new one, the vice grip on my voice gets impossibly tighter. i should be protecting these girls, i should be warning them and standing up for them but i am a coward. i'm a ******* coward. i'm too scared to say anything so i sit here and i don't sleep and i worry and i make myself sick. i'm a bad feminist. i'm bad at being a girl.