I'm a walking contradiction.
Most of the time, my heart is filled with joy.
I want to give unto others as they have given unto me.
I want to do good deeds and let my presence exude peaceful air.
Yet, I find it so easy to engross myself in hateful thoughts.
I feel malice run deeply in my veins.
It scorches my insides and leaves permanent burn scars that can't be undone.
I'm always going against the grain.
I get the urge to stomp on the flowers I just stopped to smell.
It's a difficult feeling to put into words.
Trying to hard to be good, then, out of reflex lashing out at nothing.