Last night I tossed
three rusty pennies
towards the I-Ching
(chinese book of changes)
once again
looking for direction
into my  blurry
future.

Magic happened.

I couldn't have received a
more freakishly amazing
answer to my query.

I read and re-read the surreal
prediction singing to me
from the ancient text.
(that even Confucius religiously consulted!)

I read it over and over and over
again, as the happy butterflies
inside my stomach flew
in swirls and twirls and dips
and dives - tickling me with
glee!

I was filled with
a Joy I’d never felt before, combined
with an assured confidence which suddenly
became my oxygen - each breath
felt like electricity and….magic.

But, just like clockwork
the voice entered my head.

"You probably threw the coins wrong."
"You probably read the outcome wrong."
"Stop kidding yourself.  This **** isn't real."
"No one gets this lucky."
"You don't deserve this."

Immediately, I could feel
the lukewarm cloak of
the voice embrace me in
its faux maternal darkness.

The embrace of the one
who relentlessly picks
at the scabs of my wounds -  
that are endlessly
begging to heal.

The embrace of the one that reminds
me of the continual pains
I’ve endured which made
me stop believing in magic.  

(see, when you carry chronic
disappointments around you
feel safest inside the lonely
arms of Pessimism).

But what if I choose to Believe?

What if I stand
at the precipice of life and
jump into its magical arms,
knowing full well it’s
going to catch me and bounce
me toward my dreams, like a
hot potato?

What if I believe that
I am entitled to inspiring, juicy, **** endless success?  
What if I believe the Universe -
with all of its magnificent possibilities -
IS conspiring to put me at
all the right places at
all the right times?

What if I believe I DESERVE all of the magic?
What if I courageously FOLLOW the path of  my dreams?
What if the oracle is RIGHT?!

Why not find out?
..