I think the hardest part about typing this is that it suddenly makes it feel so real. I broke up with a girl who could have been the one. My one. **** this is hard to type.

When we dated, everything was good. I say good because that's exactly what it was.

It wasn't breathtaking,
but maybe it could have been.

It wasn't something that woke me up early in the morning and kept me up late at night.
But I wanted it to be.

The problem was that no matter how much we had in common, and no matter how well we got along, there was nothing else to it.

And I sometimes wonder if that makes me a selfish person.

What do I need from someone in order to be perfectly happy? What separates the content couples from the happiest couples?

There was nothing wrong, but there wasn't enough right. Does that make sense to anyone?

She's an incredible woman--smart, driven, funny, and when I say her smile can blow anyone away I'm not exaggerating one bit.

But I didn't love her.
And maybe that was it.

I saw how she looked at me. The pair of eyes that say "there's nowhere else I'd rather be on the planet than right here, with you."

But my eyes didn't have that look.

I didn't want her to be dragged along while I hoped and prayed that someday, somehow, I'd have those eyes. That I'd have that feeling that my heart hurts for her.

And now all my eyes have are tears.
My hopes and prayers are a thing of a past.

I know it's a cheesy line but in the song Shadow of the Day there's a line that goes "Sometimes solutions aren't so simple; sometimes goodbye's the only way."

And maybe that applies here,
but maybe I just want it to apply.

I just wish future me would tell present me that I made the right decision.

Yet part of me wants future me to tell me to call her, and tell her I can't stand being without her.