you
love
me so much
i can feel it
in my bones.

and
all i ever do is disappoint you.
it hangs in the air around you
and envelops our lungs as we struggle to breathe.

poison.

i've nuked our house with tear gas.
made everyone cry.
made everyone want to **** me.

spilt us into rifts.
glaciers
that float on the Antarctic ocean
thousands of miles apart.


no one wants to go home.
no one wants to pretend like we didn't cut and torture each other the night before
so we pack up our knives, guns, and other sharp things
stick em in our own backs
and go wallow in our sorrow.

we're hurt.
limping like fresh road ****
but we don't seek penance or first aid

instead,
we would rather die from what we don't understand.