i'm trying
to let go of my fear of losing
i'm trying
to stop calculating
who messages first, who's turn it is to talk, how much of myself i can reveal to you
i am failing

but you never stop looking at me like i'm your world

what did i do to deserve you?
was it the dozens of past relationship where i felt inferior?
when the only reason they stayed was because of the lines of my face?

you told me that you watched me from afar
captivated

i don't understand
but i love you