Dear God -
Please let me be strong.
I don't know what he needs God - please tell me. Please help me. If he needs space, give me the strength to be alone for a while. If he needs me to be honest - give me the strength to be honest. If he needs me to be happy - God, please give me the insurmountable strength to be happy.
Show me how to love him. You know I've never done that right. Help me love him God.
Please tell him he doesn't need to feel guilty anymore. Tell him that he's okay and he has nothing to be ashamed of. Tell him how loved he is and how greatly he has improved me. Tell him how well he's doing and how proud and grateful I am. Tell me, please God, that he doesn't need to feel guilty.
God - remove all this selfishness and jealousy from my brain. The little part of me that wants to be jealous of the girl in the hospital because he seems to care more about her than me. Remove those lies from my head. I know they aren't true but Satan wants to convince me that I'm not good enough. I don't have anything to be jealous of. So I pray that she makes a speedy recovery and that she turns to you for relief and not to a bottle of pills.
God - give me the strength to tell Ryan all this in person so he doesn't have to keep guessing.

Amen