last night
I started crying
in a drugstore aisle
when I walked on autopilot
to the bandages
instead of buying
a pack of gum
like I planned
it made me think
about that night
when you slammed the door
so ******* us
that the hinges broke
and the last words
you said to me were
"i'm not breaking your heart
I'm just done trying to pick up the pieces"
and I coughed up
those words
and all of those extra pieces
you couldn't pick up
for days
after you left
until I crashed my car
into a ditch
because I had convinced myself
that if I drank enough
and stepped on the pedal hard enough
I would end up
on your doorstep
but I never made it
and I had to walk home
because when my car
skidded off the road
the windshield shattered
and I knew
that without you there
to help me pick up the pieces
it would never happen