How I love that grin, that smile
That makes my own lips turn
Towards heaven. Or is it hell.
Oh that they could meet.
Oh that your fingers could graze my wrist
Or cheek to seek my flesh, if not
Only by mistake.
You give me reason and reverence
To stay finger width apart.
I fear your touch would burn,
And sear that I might flee.
To hasten away from
Your presence that I suffer.
For you drive daggers deep
Into my heart, my flesh, my mind.
But my cares for you reign in my want,
For which you should be thankful.
With you pain becomes my master
And my lover and I know not
The difference between the two.
Everyday my life begins and then ends.
For your presence is like lightning
And I seek to be struck by it’s bright death daily.
Do you not see the lively sparks
Cascading down the rivers of my eyes?
Down the contours of my neck
To their grave within the thud
Of an empty heart.
But everyday I return to receive
The painful punishment of a lack
Of air that I desperately
Seek to fill my lungs.
I love your ignorance to my pain.
I love how you fail to notice
My trembling brow and quivering lip.
Or am I too unaware?
Perhaps your hands fill a blank page
With sorrowful strife and twisted tongue.
Perchance we are both bound with what will
Always go unspoken, unfulfilled, and unloved.
And our shame is ******
And our folly is to our own charge.
For there will come that day when
Your hand touches my breast
Only to find it’s beat forever at rest.