if you don't believe in demons
look deep into me, past all the spoken reasons
past the medication, into a man with only two seasons
see a shattered, loving heart that always commits treason

I don't want your sympathies when my twin takes the stage
I don't want your compassion when I appear as rage
I don't even want the answers when I turn the next page
I am a beast that the truth will only prove cannot be saved

hateful words in my mouth like mother's milk
so contrast the love when my touch is skin on silk
my flattering phrases only build a debt I will always bilk
lover, monster, sweetheart, killer, gentle, evil; my ilk

do you think I don't see what I am, do you think I don't know?
do you ever see me shred at the seams trying not to let it show?
consider that I never can avoid threshing anything I grow
you know the me that lives with knowing he is my strongest foe

taken apart and put back together
sewn with love, every stitch that I sever
mend then break, fix and adore, then become a storm to weather
a soul like an anchor that somehow, is sometimes light like feathers

Maddening
It's ******* maddening to be two people
one good
the other so dismal, truly evil

I can say I will change
but that commitment comes only from half
I will always be defeated by days deranged
because my self, the other, always has his final laugh

purge me out of your life
even seeing me weeping puddles and cringing for the loss
purge me from your heart
because my love, however genuine comes at too high a cost