My head is full
Thoughts feelings and emotions
Filled to the brim in a finite container
Called sanity
Overflow is death, too much is locked doors and padded rooms
I am a sinkhole that was just filled with cement
My mind taken to the very extreme edge of functionality
One step too close to falling and five steps too far for someone to catch me
I am contemplating everything yet producing nothing
Thinking about anything that can't be fixed
Fixated on exhaling because breathing in only taints me even more
Another breath means these thoughts are still here
One breath is too much for me
A wall of empty prescription bottles falling on top of me
I am no longer fixed
I am now in the appointments calendar at least once a week
Days since a peaceful nights sleep
Too many
Days since a day without fear
0
Scorching asphalt on my feet feels like the excessive thoughts pushing against my eyes
Pressure built up so high they built a new gauge just to figure me out
Stacks of scribbled notes about childhood recollections compared to endless notes about what things my eyes could see
Sounds ears could hear
Objects my hands could touch
Tastes my tongue could detect
That bring me crawling back to despair asking for mercy
The tank so full no one questions if it will burst
Cataclysmic conversations about dead trees in the winter being better off than I am right now
Its so cold inside of here
Bridges have gave away under less weight pressing down upon them
Walls have fallen faster than I can rebuild myself  
Mirrors ask to see me more often than I can plague myself to really look into them
I see a shell of a man writing feelings he can't express in poems he won't share
Fear bearing down on him faster than the Challenger was flying right before it blew
Implosion is a necessity and explosion is heavily avoided
I tear myself apart only for the pleasure of the thoughts that ask for worse
I sacrifice the little bit of sanity I have left in hopes of still having something left of myself at the end
I resemble a decaying and haunted house where people film amateur horror movies
No one enters unless they aren't prepared to leave
I can't leave unless I'm prepared to die
And death is just not an option
The world becomes my nightmare and sleep is the only thing I dream about
Somethings are beautiful when they are broken
I wish I knew how they did it