Sep 2015
We've let the world harden us
We've become afraid of keeping our softness
Mistaking being vulnerable with being malleable
Because before we get hurt we're open books
Letting fingers skim our pages
Letting minds invelop us
Not afraid to be seen or touched or loved
Then someone is careless
All it takes is once
Careless hands and hearts and heads we've let change us
Like a chemical reaction things cannot be repaired to the way they were before
And we've become callused
We've developed shells and locks and steel walls to trap ourselves away
To make sure no one will ever do the things that they have to us again
We become cold and distant and I'm not sure if I can fathom that this is not irrevocable
I won't say that I can't try with all my might
I won't say that
This isn't permanent and we unfreeze ourselves and thaw out once the right warmth gets close to us
And were left open, sometimes people will read through us, they study our every word like they're in a trance and still decide that they don't want to ever pick us up again
Sometimes the pages get ripped out and burned and sometimes we get written in and thrown away and left in boxes or never touched
But even with a few missing pages
Even being changed
One day someone will pick us up and read us over and over again
They'll keep pieces of us inside their heads and recite words that are written throughout us
They'll never keep us far away
One day someone is going to knock down all your walls
They won't do it in a way that feels like you're crumbling but one that you're unsure of when it started to happen or how and before you know it you will have let them in and they'll unlock doors for you so you can see what's been there the whole time
So be hard, be cold as ice, be distant, be quiet, be closed off, just know that it won't always work
All your efforts might not keep you protected
Someone is going to warm you up straight to your bones and wake all the bees in your stomach from their slumber and restart your heart in such a way that you couldn't remember the last time you felt your blood screaming in your veins declaring itself alive and in love
You're going to fall in love with someone that wants to live inside of you and never wants to leave
And it's going to feel like going home
We've become afraid of keeping our softness
Mistaking being vulnerable with being malleable
Because before we get hurt we're open books
Letting fingers skim our pages
Letting minds invelop us
Not afraid to be seen or touched or loved
Then someone is careless
All it takes is once
Careless hands and hearts and heads we've let change us
Like a chemical reaction things cannot be repaired to the way they were before
And we've become callused
We've developed shells and locks and steel walls to trap ourselves away
To make sure no one will ever do the things that they have to us again
We become cold and distant and I'm not sure if I can fathom that this is not irrevocable
I won't say that I can't try with all my might
I won't say that
This isn't permanent and we unfreeze ourselves and thaw out once the right warmth gets close to us
And were left open, sometimes people will read through us, they study our every word like they're in a trance and still decide that they don't want to ever pick us up again
Sometimes the pages get ripped out and burned and sometimes we get written in and thrown away and left in boxes or never touched
But even with a few missing pages
Even being changed
One day someone will pick us up and read us over and over again
They'll keep pieces of us inside their heads and recite words that are written throughout us
They'll never keep us far away
One day someone is going to knock down all your walls
They won't do it in a way that feels like you're crumbling but one that you're unsure of when it started to happen or how and before you know it you will have let them in and they'll unlock doors for you so you can see what's been there the whole time
So be hard, be cold as ice, be distant, be quiet, be closed off, just know that it won't always work
All your efforts might not keep you protected
Someone is going to warm you up straight to your bones and wake all the bees in your stomach from their slumber and restart your heart in such a way that you couldn't remember the last time you felt your blood screaming in your veins declaring itself alive and in love
You're going to fall in love with someone that wants to live inside of you and never wants to leave
And it's going to feel like going home
