There are two kinds of mentally ill people
people who get ******* high off of this sick ride
like it is some kind of beautiful
It is like they get off on being ****** up
like ******* over someone has some grace to it
your ******* sick; cut and dry
that is all that is your reality.

and  then there people who are holding on for dear life
just waiting
waiting to die- waiting for the ride to end
it is like life is one big breath being held
When will it end?
It will never end

Mental illness feels like a penny that is stuck in your ear
an eraser eternally stuck up your nose
and itch that needs to be scratched?
do you want me to go on?

I do not like waking up on the bathroom floor every weekend
I do not like being suicidal every other year
I do not like being an nuisance to my friends and family
I do not like

I wish I did not want feel this way
I wish I was  more in control
I wish I did not see the shadows in the corner of my eyes
I wish I did not cry as often
I wish I was strong
I wish

I feel like a schizophrenic who only gets solace in music
but I am not,
I am just a person who is sad all the ******* time
no matter what is going on in my life

I think I will sleep now,
I am too tired to sleep.