SSSSHHHHHH!! The essssssenccce

Some say the essence
Is a cloud of luminescent gas
Whose color one cannot pin down

Some say the essence
Is ensconced in music
But only the “civilized” type
(like Mozart or Philip Glass)

Some say the essence
Is surrounded by unicorn ponies
Dancing on clouds
Farting rainbows
With hearts

Some say the essence
Doesn’t drink liquor on Sundays
Or any day for that matter
Because the essence is Mormon

I say the essence
Is none of these things
And that those people are all nuts.