in between dreaming and the harsh awareness of reality my hand found the place where you used to lay brushing against the perfectly unmoved sheets making its way to the perfectly untouched pillow eyes opening, gazing, and sinking as reality set in you weren't just "up early" walking the dog, making us coffee, ...waiting to wake me with a kiss to the forehead
my knuckles turned as white as the sheets as they clenched the place that once was you holding onto whatever they could of your memory believing if I squeezed hard enough I could get the last drop of you out