in between dreaming and the harsh awareness of reality
my hand found the place where you used to lay
brushing against the perfectly unmoved sheets
making its way to the perfectly
untouched pillow
eyes opening, gazing, and sinking as reality set in
you weren't just "up early"
walking the dog,
making us coffee,
...waiting to wake me with a kiss to the forehead

my knuckles turned as white as the sheets as
they clenched the place that once was you
holding onto whatever they could of your memory
believing if I squeezed hard enough
I could get the last drop of you out

just for this morning