(I can't help but marvel at the unfairness of it all, that when I am crazy for a girl and talk about it, it's too much information or gross, I don't need to hear that, Maddie, and when I express my emotions I'm being ****** or too loud or overdramatic, that when I wear the things I want to wear I look gross and no one will like me if I dress like that but if I were seen as who I am then they would be proud of me for all these things, that my skinny jeans and button down would be cute and fashion-forward instead of **** clothes, and the look in my eyes when I see a girl would be beautiful instead of a secret to be kept, and the tears in my eyes wouldn't be ridiculous but rather a sign of how caring I am. It's not fair that if my hips were just a bit narrower then everything would change- I would be a tall beautiful model and people couldn't help but respect me, I could pull off androgynous clothes without looking gross, I could love who I wanted and people would call it beautiful. It's not fair that having two inches extra width of a pelvic bone changes the way people look, think, and act around me. It's not fair that this rampant misogyny destroys and disparages women for their natural body types, and it's certainly not fair that it's so bad that I wish every day I had been born a boy, because if I were a boy then I could love a girl all I wanted and the more I loved her, the better, and people would say it's cute instead of try and tell me to keep it in my pants or watch myself around adults, and I could hold her hand in public without being afraid, and I could cry at sad movies and get congratulated for not being a ****** person, and I could play guitar and give to homeless people and let cars into my lane and be funny and care about social issues and do every single ******* thing I already do but if I were a boy it would mean I am beautiful, knowledgeable, and perfect but because I'm a girl no matter what I do I am flawed, I am not good enough, I am not good enough, I am not good enough for you and when I look in the mirror I try every day to become closer to who I really am but a girl at her best is still not as good as a boy at his worst and it's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair.)