Fat footed two ton tessies tattooed with tigers, growling under bulging hips, bustin' out shocks on Datsuns K cars Le Sabres, 1998 primer gray bondo and duct tape, taking up two spots with a smile.
Streaky squeaky automatic doors bump your nose to make em go 1972 linoleum grab a cart hope you don’t catch death from the handle or worse feces.
last weeks ads mixed with new, who buys 10 of anything? except beers and smokes fried chicken and maybe frozen burritos.
“Hey why’s that chicken smell like fish? How old is that grease anyway? Ooh there’s a ten-fer on a two-fer pack of coconut orange sno-*****!”
Mr. I love Jeff Gordon matching mesh hat and shirt wants to know
“Does that ten-fer on those two-fers mean I have to buy 20?”
I don’t know sir, but Go! Go! Go! Jeff Gordon #24 hours a day, always open
“Is that the chicken-fish I smell? Or am I smellin’ the guy in flippy flops?”
bunions and scabby hammers mister please cover that **** up asks his wife or daughter not sure which
“Are them white bag bar code cheesey puffs any good? too bad they aint got a ten-fer!”
Texarkana back woods Missilouis swamp
“mama can we get ice cream?”
red neck united nations mullets macaroni and cheesey tank tops
“Why cain’t we go barefoots in here?”
pork rinds stew meat chicken parts nothing tender never lean and never ever from New York.
Big beer belly buying beer gotta count coin careful cart carries cases of Miller not Lite not Genuine Draft Hi-Life and ‘Ol Roy,
“**** mister, you must have a big dog!”
Two tone skunk hair holds the Tussin grabs a people mag
“what page is my Taurus-scope on?”
power carts powered down
“why cain’t they keep these thangs juiced up?”
basket bulging ten-fers that’s why, two-liter Tab Twinkies and tator-tots.
Time to check out 10 items or less 12? don’t matter, checker has checked out bagger brags more than bags
“I sees you folks got a kitty cat! My kitties just love the leftover chicken-fish!”
big deal lady we have 4 cats too my pajama bottoms have been worn 3 times my hair was washed yesterday and yes I am wearing slippers but at least they are closed- toe.
pay the bill
ring the bell
load the car
drive away
mutter under breath,
I am so much better than these people…
I apologize in advance to my friends across the pond, and to to my American friends in the North, these visions I share may be misunderstood and/or unrecognized....As for my friends who live south of the Mason-Dixon line, enjoy...