Oct 2011
Fat footed
two ton tessies
tattooed with
tigers, growling
under bulging hips,
bustin' out shocks
on Datsuns K cars
Le Sabres, 1998
primer gray bondo
and duct tape,
taking up two spots
with a smile.
Streaky squeaky
automatic doors
bump your nose
to make em go
1972 linoleum
grab a cart
hope you don’t
catch death
from the handle
or worse
feces.
last weeks ads
mixed with new,
who buys 10
of anything?
except beers
and smokes
fried chicken
and maybe
frozen burritos.
“Hey why’s that chicken smell like fish?
How old is that grease anyway?
Ooh there’s a ten-fer on a two-fer pack
of coconut orange sno-*****!”
Mr. I love
Jeff Gordon
matching
mesh hat
and shirt
wants to know
“Does that ten-fer on those two-fers
mean I have to buy 20?”
I don’t know sir,
but Go! Go! Go!
Jeff Gordon #24
hours a day,
always open
“Is that the chicken-fish I smell?
Or am I smellin’ the guy in flippy flops?”
bunions and
scabby hammers
mister please
cover that **** up
asks his wife
or daughter
not sure which
“Are them white bag bar code
cheesey puffs any good? too bad
they aint got a ten-fer!”
Texarkana
back woods
Missilouis
swamp
“mama can we get ice cream?”
red neck
united nations
mullets
macaroni and
cheesey tank tops
“Why cain’t we go barefoots in here?”
pork rinds
stew meat
chicken parts
nothing tender
never lean and
never ever
from New York.
Big beer belly
buying beer
gotta count
coin careful
cart carries
cases of Miller
not Lite
not Genuine Draft
Hi-Life and ‘Ol Roy,
“**** mister, you must have a big dog!”
Two tone
skunk hair
holds the Tussin
grabs a
people
mag
“what page is my Taurus-scope on?”
power carts
powered down
“why cain’t they keep these thangs juiced up?”
basket bulging
ten-fers
that’s why,
two-liter Tab
Twinkies and
tator-tots.
Time to
check out
10 items
or less
12?
don’t matter,
checker has
checked out
bagger brags
more than bags
“I sees you folks got a kitty cat! My kitties
just love the leftover chicken-fish!”
big deal lady
we have 4 cats too
my pajama bottoms
have been worn
3 times
my hair was
washed yesterday
and yes I am
wearing slippers
but at least
they are
closed- toe.
pay the bill
ring the bell
load the car
drive away
mutter under breath,
I am so much better than these people…
two ton tessies
tattooed with
tigers, growling
under bulging hips,
bustin' out shocks
on Datsuns K cars
Le Sabres, 1998
primer gray bondo
and duct tape,
taking up two spots
with a smile.
Streaky squeaky
automatic doors
bump your nose
to make em go
1972 linoleum
grab a cart
hope you don’t
catch death
from the handle
or worse
feces.
last weeks ads
mixed with new,
who buys 10
of anything?
except beers
and smokes
fried chicken
and maybe
frozen burritos.
“Hey why’s that chicken smell like fish?
How old is that grease anyway?
Ooh there’s a ten-fer on a two-fer pack
of coconut orange sno-*****!”
Mr. I love
Jeff Gordon
matching
mesh hat
and shirt
wants to know
“Does that ten-fer on those two-fers
mean I have to buy 20?”
I don’t know sir,
but Go! Go! Go!
Jeff Gordon #24
hours a day,
always open
“Is that the chicken-fish I smell?
Or am I smellin’ the guy in flippy flops?”
bunions and
scabby hammers
mister please
cover that **** up
asks his wife
or daughter
not sure which
“Are them white bag bar code
cheesey puffs any good? too bad
they aint got a ten-fer!”
Texarkana
back woods
Missilouis
swamp
“mama can we get ice cream?”
red neck
united nations
mullets
macaroni and
cheesey tank tops
“Why cain’t we go barefoots in here?”
pork rinds
stew meat
chicken parts
nothing tender
never lean and
never ever
from New York.
Big beer belly
buying beer
gotta count
coin careful
cart carries
cases of Miller
not Lite
not Genuine Draft
Hi-Life and ‘Ol Roy,
“**** mister, you must have a big dog!”
Two tone
skunk hair
holds the Tussin
grabs a
people
mag
“what page is my Taurus-scope on?”
power carts
powered down
“why cain’t they keep these thangs juiced up?”
basket bulging
ten-fers
that’s why,
two-liter Tab
Twinkies and
tator-tots.
Time to
check out
10 items
or less
12?
don’t matter,
checker has
checked out
bagger brags
more than bags
“I sees you folks got a kitty cat! My kitties
just love the leftover chicken-fish!”
big deal lady
we have 4 cats too
my pajama bottoms
have been worn
3 times
my hair was
washed yesterday
and yes I am
wearing slippers
but at least
they are
closed- toe.
pay the bill
ring the bell
load the car
drive away
mutter under breath,
I am so much better than these people…
I apologize in advance to my friends across the pond, and to to my American friends in the North, these visions I share may be misunderstood and/or unrecognized....As for my friends who live south of the Mason-Dixon line, enjoy...
