the truth is
i fall
in love
with almost every
single girl
i meet,

the tall ones, the loud ones, the petite ones,
the heartless ones and the caring ones,
i'm vulnerable to
them all,
to the extent
that i even
surprise myself,
at times.

i can't help it,
and this is no
exaggeration.


my love for these women
is not immortal,
i can assure you of that.
it often transforms into
extreme hate and disgust,
i begin to loathe them
and soon
myself,

i'm a disease,
really.


whilst my love is genuine,
so is the pain
i will inevitably
suffer,
because of it.

at first, i become slowly obsessed,
my affection is exponential,
i say all the right things
and i'm often not
full of ****,
i can close my eyes and picture
the next
6 years
with this girl,
my life is injected with
unsurpassed happiness,
and i plan never
to let them go,
its bliss.

but then,
something goes wrong.
always.
its normally minuscule-
a slight rejection,
a misinterpreted comment.
my expectations are set
too high,
i know it.

the cigarettes start,
the depression kicks in,
give me a beer
a joint,
my life seems so much
worse
than it is,
i know it.

i switch gears
and become
my worst
enemy,
i'll begin to ignore
her, give her the
cold shoulder,
my hate unjustly
grows,
i'm a monster.

her feelings are no longer
priority,
its all about me
and my sadness.

sometimes
its justified.
most of the time
its pathetic,
i know it.

but you see,
i'm an infectious parasite.
for some reason,
girls often respond
desirably
to my premature love,
but for another reason,
its the worst thing
that ever happened to them,
and me.