Sometimes i wake up dead
both of my lungs decaying
i light up another cigarette
exhaling out the thought of you
& watching it billow out into sun-
light from the shadows only for
the knot in my heart to tighten
because i’m reminded of your
beautiful smile that’s why i hide in the shadows and run with the wolves chasing the moon knowing that no matter how far i run she’ll always be 237,000 miles away & when the world became heavy the right thing to do would be to just shrug it off and to remember to breathe and be a woman
and just dealing with it the way i deal with swings at poker with unwavering stillness grounded in the calm knowing that everything is okay and unbroken but i didn’t. when you saw my soul bleed
i wanted to die. you were not supposed to see me hurting. how did you end up in my cave? or did i drag you into the darkness?
i never wanted to give you a sneak peak into the shadows while i was knee deep more than three feet with my insecurities
lying against the sharp edge of your critiques handing you a love note i wrote on a receipt you’re a beautiful and sweet but me? i’m on a spiel street do you feel me?
i feel weak please **** me i wish i could be all that you want me to be but i can’t. i can only be me and hope you see the real me.