I know you have known heartache
Had coffee with your pain, sat down with your loneliness
You are not a stranger to darkness
Your mind wanders under this umbrella
Shielded away from love
And you feel so much
Your body tenses at the mention of her name
Your heartbeat quickens, palms sweat, knees twitch
It is as if you have a disease
Love sick, as they call it
She is the only one you can talk with about the shade of a cloud
Or the dreams you had last night
But you don’t tell her that she was in them
For fear it would scare her
You are careful with what you say
Because it is easy to come on too strong
Because you have never known weakness in love
You let her hear your music and she sings for you
But never to you
You imagine kissing her
It is patient and impossibly slow
Your ecstasy is her lips, she is the drug you can't stop craving
You have considered rehab
Finding someone else
Venturing into the unknown oblivion, falling on your face
You are not nervous around other people
So you must not be over it yet
You must not be ready to let go
You do not feel anything unless you are with her
You are confused on how to love her this way
How to maneuver around being her friend
You wonder if the feelings will ever be returned
If she will look at you like you do her
Like you are the moon and the stars
The sun, the solar system
The atmosphere holding all of the air she needs to breath
You wonder if she will miss you like you do her
Unsteady, walking around her room
You is not answering her phone
Worried if you are alright, if you are thinking of her
Panicked at the thought of you with someone else
If your hands have touched another warm body
If their body reminds you more of the summer than she does
You wonder if you will ever be able to walk away
If you will one day come to the realization that you are wasting your time and that she will never love you like that
But more often than not, you wonder if she will