I’m just so tired of carrying around these heavy bones, of synthetic smiles and empty words, of meaningless ***, of dreams that cling to the sides of my head; this chewed up, spat out, sticky, deformed hope— the kind you unknowingly step on, carry with you for awhile and notice suddenly with a face twisted in disgust. The same reeking kind you spend hours digging out of the soles of your shoes with a broken stick.
And just I’m tired.
I’m tired of ******* the poison out of this wound, of tasting its hot, tinny infection, of the uncertainty of recovery, of your one-man audience. I’m tired of being tired, and I’m tired of admitting that I was a naive enough to offer up the best parts of myself to something pining for so much less. I will never be less.
I’m tired, but I’m here. I’m here, and I’m searching. When I find myself again, when I regenerate all of those best parts, I won’t be tired. I’ll be this amazing [*******] spectacle, and I’ll make sure you and less have the finest mezzanine seats for the one thousand mic drops I always knew I had in me.