and then there's me-
always full of nice things to say;
filled to the brim with them, actually,
because i'm not yet sure how to let them out slowly;
reminded of my loneliness by the flirtatious laughter upstairs
and there's you-
miles away,
and yet, even if you were near,
i'd still be tangled in this feeling
of being so wide awake while the world is calm
and, at the same time,
feeling so dull and blurry while everyone skips and darts around me
yearning for understanding company,
someone who feels the same
all of this is too much of a dream,
a wild fantasy that i can't imagine i'll ever completely shake,
sticking with me like i wish a human being could,
but making me feel more abandoned
than any human being ever could