In a relationship, there should never be a time where your partner says "But if you loved me, you'd __". Flat out.  A healthy relationship is about giving yourself to that person, self giving, when you feel ready. A selfish partner expects you to do certain things out of love for them. I'm not explicitly talking about ***, but it's in between the lines.

A selfish love is one that takes and takes but doesn't completely give back. You give yourself up to a selfish partner because you think it's going to satiate them, satisfy their needs. But it never does, does it? If you set boundaries and your partner doesn't accept them -- leave.

A self giving love is one that gives patiently and doesn't necessarily take. It's a love that constantly seeks permission where permission is needed. You communicate to express how you feel, openly and honestly. If you set boundaries and your partner tries their best to accept them because they love you as a person -- stay.