After the screams die down
I feel Peace
Not the Peace I want to feel
Not the Peace where a smile is real
Not the Peace when bathing in comfort

the Peace where my mind is exhausted
the Peace where not seeing straight is normal
the Peace where breathing doesn't fill my lungs
feeling so empty and so helpless
like the squirrel I watched die in the front yard today
like my dog I watched get hit by a car when I was young
like the E I received on a college paper
like the emptiness in my heart has consumed my soul

The peace that I am most used to,
the Peace of feeling uneasy.