Your eyes are incredulous,
Unsympathetic, and just a touch doubtful.
But why wouldn't you be?
You never lived through anything
That would bring you to such darkness.
So I don't blame you for not understanding.
And I'll do my best to keep it
From ever touching you,
For I would not even wish this depression
On my most mortal enemy.
It's an unavoidable riptide of despair
That hits like a bullet train at full speed
With absolutely no ****** warning
And takes you out to a black sea
Where you fight with every limb
To keep your head above the waves
That keep crashing down and pressing up
Until every fiber of your body and soul
Are drained of endurance and will,
So you stop kicking and flailing
And find yourself lying on your back
Floating on the top of the water,
And for a second you have peace
Because the waves are crashing
But the fight is over, the struggle is over,
And slowly you let yourself sink
Into the cold arms that have been drawing you closer.
And the last thing you see
As the light above fades into the shimming drink
Is the nothing that has been your constant friend.
So don't ask how I'm doing.
Don't inquire after my health.
For to tell you would be to ask you to risk
Life and limb to jump in after me
To save my broken soul from sinking any further.
And don't you know?
I'm too far gone for you to save.
I'd rather see you standing on solid ground
Than swimming after me.
I'd rather save you and see you keep
Your doubt and disbelief
Than ever truly understand
What my depression is to me.