So here i am, writing about you again at 4:00 am.
These days i can't go more than a few minutes without wishing i was by your side.
I keep finding myself trying to drown our memories with whatever i can stomach.
But it's never enough.
You left a scar on my heart, and the only way to heal it is to rid myself of this earth, because i know you won't come back again.
Even though your absence is eating me alive.
I don't think you realize that you were my saviour.
God knows i'm not ready to leave.
But he also knows i'm too weak to make it any further without you.
It's such a cliche that with or without you, i'm either mentally dead, or on my way to that grave.
Will i ever find my saving grace?
You stole my heart without any intent of loving me.
Oh dear god, how i long to love the way i wish to be wanted.
But now i'm on my way to the hell you hoped for.
And i will always be sorry.