Your love touched trauma
as my body shuddered.
Tension released
tears poured out as I wept in silence
as I wept in darkness
as I wept, a master of deception
My pain stayed outside your awareness
Your hands across my chest
created an image
of a baby being dried after taking a bath
both of your hands were enough to grab my torso
and I became painfully aware of how feeble I am
weak and dependent
Harsh thoughts, pethetic
somewhere, somehow seeking redemption
while there is nothing to redeem
my challenge lies in acceptance

A path my mind created to stray
A path my mind created to survive
Acceptence for me will be the end of me
this me, fitted to survive in a world no longer this world
but the previous one, another reality
that has been explored and discovered.
But just like this world and the previous one
I always defy the reality that I see
Because the reality that I see doesn't coincide with
what's inside this core of me.
This core of me desperately trying to break loose
in this pethetic shell,
I WANNA BE MYSELF, YET I'M STUCK IN THIS SELFMADE PRISON, IT'S HELL
YET I AM THE WARDEN, THE GUARD AND THE GUY DROPPING
THE SOAP.
I HOLD THE ******* KEYS YET I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO
ALL I CAN DO NOW IS SIT BEHIND MY DESK, ROLL ONE UP
AND TAKE A ****.. so...
I don't have a ******* answer, I simply don't know.