Memories, memories, memories.

That's all I'm filled with. Memories of you, and I constantly filling my mind. Our memories are like a dark shadow constantly hovering over me. There's no escape, no matter what I do. I cannot escape our past, and I cannot blind my love for you. I can't pretend that I'm completely over you.

I can't pretend I'm okay without you anymore. I'm sick of acting like you leaving me hasn't left a wound in my heart. I am sick of painting a smile on my face, acting as if I'm okay. Without you here, I know I can't do better. I miss you. I crave you. I need you.

In a way, I know you feel the same.

The thought of another man holding me sickens you. The thought of me moving on, acting like you are nothing but a past memory, makes your heart ache. You need me as much as I need you, and I pity you for that. I pity the fact that you can cause me so much damage, yet act like you are the one in true pain. You have the nerve to act like you are the victim when I was crying myself to bed at night wondering what was wrong with me.

In all reality, I don't care. I don't care about the sleepless nights due to constant crying. I don't care about the mornings I wake up to damp pillows. I could care less about the constant thought of not being good enough racing through my mind, or the constant reminder that you were so quick to act as if my emotions and I didn't exist. I don't care about the pain and anger you ignited in me. I care about you. I care about the love I still carry for you.