When I loved you, you were April mornings and bagels with extra cream cheese.
When I lost you, you were untouched cups of coffee, growing colder and stale through the day.

When I loved you, there was muddy shoes and shortcuts off the main road,
When I lost you, I wandered around trying to find my way back to the trail head.

When I loved you I was younger, I was lost, my hair was longer and thicker, and my heart was lighter. I slept with lights on and drank my coffee with more cream,,
When I lost you I thought that was the end. I thought that the world around me had stopped spinning and I cried for nights upon nights and lost 10 pounds because I couldn't eat my food.

When I loved you I thought that I was happy,
When I lost you I realized that I had never really been that happy.

When I loved you I learned about forgiveness, patience, and how to care about someone.
When I lost you I learned about acceptance, solidity, and how to care about myself.

When I loved you I thought the world looked brighter and grass didn't itch the same.
When I lost you I saw that they sky has always been the same, and grass will grow in unexpected places.

When I loved you, I thought it would be forever. We were so young and wanted so much from each other.
When I lost you, and long long after I lost you, I realized how easy it is for things to change, and how these things won't break you.
& I do still love you (in memory)