My dog hates me
He barks, he sniffs
He heads for my shins
He takes his whiffs

I respect my home
I tiptoe to go out
And when I return
I must not shout

Suddenly, I have become
A guest in my house
My dog now scares me
Like a cat scares a mouse

I do all my business outside
And hide them in a pouch
I abide by his strict rules
And sit quietly on the couch

My dog hates me
He barks, he sniffs
My dog hates me
He knows I'm a thief.