Isn't it awfully nice to have a *****? Isn't it frightfully good to have a ****? It's swell to have a ******. It's divine to own a ****, From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest *****. So, three cheers for your ***** or John Thomas. Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake, Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend, Your Percy, or your ****. You can wrap it up in ribbons. You can slip it in your sock, But don't take it out in public, Or they will stick you in the dock, And you won't come back.