I thought I had everything in place
Little did I know the universe was playing it's own game
I'm slipping
My steady pace up the hill has quickly turned into a deadly climb up a mountain
The only thing that makes sense is how much pressure I can apply to my skin
But I can't
The more people that leave now the better
I'm no longer light as a feather
The stresses of my home life are flooding back
10 months wasn't enough when it comes to that
I need to find something that matters because if I rely on myself I won't get very far
I now need more tattoos to cover my scars
I'm terrified right now
The pain from my past mixes with my anxiety for the future
Each one is a bomb and it's lose, lose
I tell people not to worry because they can't see past my facade
It's odd
Maybe if I just worried more...
I can't go there
Stay away from the dark thoughts about Kai
I'm feeling pretty numb
People talk and I stare
So they don't notice I'm there
I don't really want to be here
Or there
Really anywhere
I'm finding out that I love unconditionally
I thought that was supposed to be a good thing
The more you love the more you leave
The more you leave the more you bleed
Pain never really made sense to me
My ways of coping are destructive
I don't like hurting other people but have no problem hurting myself
My actions determine my value
I don't know anything else
The more I tell people the more they want to know
How can I tell the ones I love that my heart is growing cold
Take me back
Take me back to the days where innocence was praised
Take me back to when I wasn't ashamed
I don't know what to do
My depression is creeping back
I'm falling through the cracks
One day it won't matter
One day people will remember that I mattered