My wife woke up the other morning
and positively glowered at me
I knew that look was some kind of warning
But wondered what on earth it could be?

It was quite obvious she was not happy
Though I had absolutely no idea why
I tried to talk to her but she was so snappy
Looked at me like she wished I would die.

I thought it might be about my snoring
Which I knew was very bad of late
though that normally had her shouting and roaring
and not in this silent but deadly state

Was it my restless legs syndrome again?
had my kicking kept her up all night?
Or had I hogged all the duvet yet again?
I knew something was not quite right

It was like waiting for a bomb to explode
the silence was truly agonising
my self confidence began to erode
had I done something without realising?

I knew I was definitely in mortal danger
That I needed to tread very carefully
She looked at me like I was some kind of stranger
Actually, more like I was her worst enemy!

I had no option but to push a bit harder
Thoughts of personal safety I left behind
I had to find out what was wrong with her
Before I went completely out of my mind

And then like a veritable tsunami
The whole truth it just flooded out
I knew then why she saw me as the enemy,
Understood what the strop was about!

She accused me of having an affair
With none other than her best friend
She was convinced that I just did not care,
Thought our marriage had come to an end

She did not believe I could be so cold
That I would throw away all that we had
She was convinced and would not be told
It nearly killed me to see her hurting so bad

I tried to convince her that I loved her
That nothing was going on honestly
That I could never have an affair for,
I knew she was the only woman for me

It was hard to convince her it was not true
But she realised in the end it seems
That having an affair is not something I’d do
The whole affair only happened in her dreams!

The whole thing was an absolute nightmare
It was incredibly frightening
One thing we learned from the whole affair
Is that dreams can be a funny thing!

Like alarm bells sounding a warning,
We both saw it as a wake up call
Now we have a reality check every morning
Before doing anything else at all!