you like the idea of me
of the way i smile and
how it conceals all else,
not the bad habits i've been
struggling to walk out from

you like the idea of a
different mind in a different body
because i ain't like the majority,
not the reasons why i lose my sanity
late at night just to stay alive

you like the idea of an
unchanged being for i can't ever be moved,
not how much i try to change myself
to a person so i could begin to love again
to feel like im worth more than something
indefinitely

you like the ideas in my head,
but don't bother to fathom out
whatever started it all.

but it's all fine anyways, right?