you see i gave my dad heaps of ****, ya know

you see dad when we were young had it in his own way

that what he was doing would stop me from being kidnapped

and i couldn’t understand this, so i lashed out thinking he was taking my cool kid away

from me and into him, and when i fought him, i thought it was the end

i will never find out why he thought he was helping

but dad did help me with my money for the week

like, he went to the bank to get a whole lot of coins

and put it in my drawer, and i thought this was rad

dad was helping me, find out a way to save my money

i still get that, so i used dads spirit to do that now, so i have money for each day

i wish i could do that by myself, because, i tried it, but i spent it too quickly

and dad was upset because of that and started to test me out

i said, i was having problems, like i was celebrating getting out of the psych ward

you see i couldn’t understand why dad was doing what he used to do

i am trying to be as normal as possible, and since that day

i heard voices from dad saying, be a cool kid, be a cool kid

and i heard pat saying, that i was a worthless *******

now, i know the voice isn’t true, because pat isn’t around anymore

and he never picked on me anyway

and dad claimed all the old days fights in his part of the bargain

was just voices, and i didn’t want to start fighting dad from that point of time

you see from that time, i heard hooligan or kiddie voices trying to push me back

i don’t want these hooligan voices in my head, like, brian, the voices are true

they aren’t true, really, but i ain’t his fucken ****** daddy, and before dad died

i hear voices from that hooligan that is floating around my head saying your father ain’t around anymore

you see, ya father ain’t around to protect you from harm anymore, i hated that voice

because as i said, dad helped me with my money every week, for about 5 years

and i appreciated that, but i hated the idea of a silly fight we had when i spent all my money after hospital in 2013

i told dad, pat said for me to not hit you, ok

you see every time i say i don’t want to be a hooligan, the voices from pat says, your like me

and urged me on to become a hooligan or phedaphile, i don’t want to be treated like that, ok

i want to be strong-minded enough to speak up for myself

i liked fafiti, i ain’t a racist ****, like the people who complained about him

when i say i am not shy, the voices say, yeah to be a hooligan yeah

i tell the voices i am not a hooligan, but them voices are saying, i like brian how he thinks

that we actually care for what he has to say, well we don’t care says the voices

we don’t care at all, because your father isn’t around to protect you anymore, so leave us voices alone

and yesterday, i made you draw a picture of a man giving you a needle

saying, you are with me now, buddy, your father isn’t around to protect you anymore

but dad helped me with my money, and i appreciated him doing that, the voices say

your father isn’t around to protect you anymore, ok dude

i wish the voices will leave me alone, dad is around in spirit

i am poor, i need a chance to put my work out there, out there, ok

THANKS DAD