zzz...
me dozing, or the buzz of human interaction
she tends to her cacti
he heads out the front door into a new day
birds are talking to one another
circling overhead, fantasies
or a memory of crossing a busy street with you
I stir my coffee and it splashes out
printing stains on a patterned tablecloth that vaguely resembles winding roads, street maps
between adoration and lust
I choose obsession
sometimes I think I see your face in passing windows
or behind the steering wheel
of a speeding car uncertain where it's headed
between tenderness and bitterness
I choose anger
they enjoy asking me what it was like
thing is, I wasn't in the backseat of the car when it happened
nevertheless, I tell them:
it's the feeling when you have somewhere to be at eight a.m. and you wake up at ten
it's heading out the door, then remembering something you forgot and having to go back inside
it's breaking into a run to catch a bus
and the bus leaves
between reason and madness
I choose risk
it's replaying scenes on a broken record
of that day you perished in traffic
as I sat behind the steering wheel in an SUV
uncertain where I was headed