Tell me I look beautiful,
But I'd look better if the tears that ran down my cheeks ended up dripping into a river somewhere.
If they disguised themselves as part of nature,
if my sadness became invisible,
It wouldn't make you sad, too.
And all I want is to make you happy.

Every time I read the bible I feel the angels spitting on me from above.
Reassure me that that's just how you know my mind works-
That I have a funny way of looking at things and it's not always positive.
That sometimes,
When I'm alone with you,
Those tears don't fall into rivers but instead stain your t-shirt.
Remind me that you never know why and it's too much of a hassle to ask.

You wish I could be happy although I just don't like to read my poetry aloud!
Why don't I like to read my poetry aloud?
"It's amazing!
However
You just have to put more emphasis on the stanzas where you talk about
suicide.

There are things I haven't said in fear of what those words might feel like to say them out loud.
But you already know I rehearse my sentences repeatedly in my head until the words taste raw and become meaningless by the time I'm ready to finally speak.

Why don't I speak!"

Don't I know how rude it is to not say hello to the crossing guard?
But it's alright.
You tell me you *forgive me.

Isn't it ironic that the air conditioner only works when I'm driving,
Not when we sit in silence,
Sweating over the tension.
Wondering what words are going to come next and which one of us are going to speak them.
And it only starts to rain when you try to leave.

You tell me it's okay that I don't like thunderstorms but please, tell you again why?

Tell you again, when's my birthday?
Tell you again, is that what we were supposed to do tonight?
Tell you again, please, because you forgot time and time again.

But I know you have a delicate mind,
A fragile heart,
And I know there's a beast that lives behind those glimmering brown eyes.

I'd love to be the one to tame it.

However,
This is not a love poem.
And I'm not the one.
Am I?