stuck in the past,
i worry and worry
as my future comes nearer,
and then becomes my past.
it all haunts me,
eats away at my heart,
overcomes my already nasty thoughts.
all around me believe that they know
but what they aren't aware of
is that i'll never tell it all,
in fear of letting it out,
using the words,
and letting tears fall from my eyes.
while keeping it in,
continues to break me,
letting it out would expose me,
**** him,
and shock them all.
i have built up enough walls
to keep him out
at the moment i don't need to stab him
with blades of his wrongs
and remind him of how he broke my trust, and  my soul corrupted my formally sweet dreams.
now as i lay attempting to sleep,
i have to wrap my arms around me tightly, touching my own skin, only to remind myself that i can't be hurt like that again.
so if you wonder why,
think back on late nights and one sided conversations and surely you will remember all the hell you caused.