The first night without you, I cried like an abandoned child and bit my fingernails for the first time in years. I drank straight from a bottle of wine I snuck from the pantry. I spun violently around my room, letting an angry record spin. Later, I hit my fist against the wall of the shower as I washed off all my shame and anger in ice cold water. Then I spent the rest of that godawful night shivering in my bed like the shattered heart that I was, my skin shaking and rising over my fragile bones. And no one knew, and no one knew...