It's the way I have to write when I drink
I can't deny myself the pleasure
Funny thing is
It's not pleasure
it's torture
It's the way I'd shower
and you'd have to get in with me
The way I still have to listen to your voice
humming out of my phone
keeping me sad, keeping me thoughtful
The way you'd kiss me
I'd have to kiss you back
twenty times over
I've held my breath for three months
and either have to keep holding it
not breathing
Or I have to take a big breath
and let go