Eyes so deep set Shadows cloak them They stare into nothing and everything Seen too much But never another’s love
Smoker’s fingers twitch Every minute Of every day The need so great To fill those lunges with poison The burning sensation That reminds her she is alive Salt rimmed lips her only hope
Words always meant a lot Now are only white noise
Freak ***** **** Loner
They are only names
Disgusting Unworthy Unholy Wrong
Only letters strung together
They are how she got here though Names and letters thrown at her Led to her bringing that blade to her skin Led to her bumming her first one Led to her buying her own pack
First she avoided the lunch room: No lunch
Then she left before they awoke: No breakfast
She came home so late: No dinner
Thinner and thinner She was wasting away
Few even noticed Even less cared One told her to eat Would bring her food She would force it down Leave And throw it back up Almost every time
Her clothes hung on her frame She was a broken frame No one saw the haunted picture it held
Names and letters continued Her life withered She held on barely Poison her only friend Her guardian angel a blade The new dream was six feet under
No one noticed
No one cared
So she stole some pills Tried them They made her feel a bit better She kept taking them Then they didn’t work so well Upped the dose That stopped as well
Eyes finally turned to her
The questions started
What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you just **** yourself?
Answers followed
Everything I will
The planning started At first it was just something to take up time
Then it came alive It started to entrance her It spoke to her in her sleep During the day When she was kneeling on the bathroom tiles When blood dripped from her When smoke escaped her
She finally decided
Taking pen to paper Words finally came to her She spoke of those who hurt her Of her own pain Of everything Everything she hadn’t said in years
She signed it with goodbye
She held her last cigarette Took the most pills she’s ever had Stood up on the chair Put on her favorite new piece of jewelry And she…