None of this has hit me yet.
It hasn't hit me so hard the absence of feeling has rippled into the rest of me,
to all things;
all events
and all goodbyes
are said with not even a hint of a tear
nor a hint of a smile
nor a fast or slow beating heart
it's said with words I know I mean
but they do not sound so.
This leads me to believe I am terrified.
So terrified
so frightened
so unsure
and scared
it has shocked me frozen
paused in time,
because if I recognize this daunting task
this great fear
this leaving of the few people who truly mean something to me
and the only place I have ever known,
I will not be able to venture one size 8 step into this great adventure.