i find you slipping out of the ugliest parts of me
a scar on my thigh everyone thinks is from my dog but was really from your teeth (a different
kind
of beast)
how i can't explain to my parents why i can't go to the airport or the zoo anymore
the hot water that turns my skin pink (i can't feel a thing)
all my friends want to **** me and i let them

for a long time it seemed too easy to give you the blame
how could something that evil
stem from someone who kissed
so
softly?

maybe it was because my mom told me i looked **** when i wasn't even ten years old
maybe it was because my friend christopher told me when a boy kisses you you've won
maybe it was because you distracted me from being in love with someone of the wrong ***
maybe it was because i was too afraid to say no at first

really i know
it was just you

but
why?