I'm waiting for the messages to be sent back, rejected. My hair unkept, heart wrecked. Smothered in the spilt coffee, because the nerves are bad again. Eating something so gross, you have to throw everything back up. I can't watch tv, or start a new series of books, I tell my brain im not ready for that commitment. So I'll sit, as cars pass by. I met an old lady, who saw the Grand Canyon seven times. My mom screamed," I'm losing my mind" I shut the door & walked away. There's no adventure, left inside. Just a catacomb of lost secerets, I'll die & die each day. But smile with a unearthly sernity. I like listening to people's wacked out theories about the universe. It's like doing **** on acid, while drinking ***** on the highway. Going 78. Even though you're only 19. This is a one way street, and baby im speeding.