6/7/2015
princeton, nj

now, I don't often
go on walks by myself
anymore like I used to when

I had things to think about but
I don't exactly spend time with others
Like I used to when I was trying to

Pretend I didn't have things to think
about,
Stepping out of the church doors
early,

believing that Fresh Air and sitting in a nice nostalgic bath will do me better
than prayer, as my father insists,

Turning round the rotunda by the Chapel and Firestone,
stopping like a ***** to take in
every single detail of the virginal church panes

Church glass wiring miser.
There is three only three
students I have counted on my walk

One walks with a hand posed as if
he held a cigarette but he does not
have one.

with every step the phantasms of
men calling me from dorm rooms
and crawling around town asking
for cigarettes,

Dressed for parties,
the overall wintery sadness of it all
escapes me and all I am filled with

A very real sense of loss
for a thing I do not want again
I say "I surrender"
To the garden of prospect.